Getting her life back
by Ranowa Hikura
Summary: Oneshot, set shortly after 'Running Away'. Olivia helping Casey recover from her alcoholism.


Set sometime after my 'Running Away' story, but considerably before 'Her flame wouldn't die.'. I know I mentioned Casey's alcoholism a lot but never actually went over her recovering from it, so I decided I would. Just one of those in-between-the-scenes oneshots. Disclaimer: Don't own it. Enjoy!

"So, you ready for this?" Olivia asked Casey worriedly as the ADA walked into her apartment, set her briefcase down by the door, and slid off her coat.

Casey took a deep breath, nodding nervously, then turned towards Olivia and said quickly, "Hey, Liv, why don't we start this officially after we go back and get drinks with guys? I mean, they're already at a bar and we shouldn't just be rude and-"

"Casey." Olivia's stern voice was all the rebuttal that was needed. Casey had known that, eventually, she would have to cut herself off from alcohol completely so she would stop being so dependent on it, but had continuously put if off. Days had turned into weeks as she had told herself, _Oh, you had a rough day, stop drinking after this case is over, _or, _you have a lot of work to do these next couple of days, you can't take off work now!_

Finally, Olivia had put her foot down. She had experienced this type of behavior before and knew that Casey would never stop unless someone forced her to. Because of her job, just suddenly taking days off work could cause a lot of problems for her many open cases, Olivia had set a date and told her that, starting then, she was going to be cut off from alcohol. Well, at least until she had recovered enough to drink one beer and not be able to resist the urge for another.

"Honestly, no. I'm not. But… I suppose there's no point in postponing it anymore, is there?"

Olivia nodded, then asked, "Do you have any more bottles stashed around here? You should tell me now, you won't have the willpower to later on."

"No," Casey answered, a little too quickly and with a touch of guilt. She had one more bottle of vodka hidden in the closet, underneath a pile of old stuff Olivia had but never used. She had told Olivia about all her other hidden stashes, but the reason Casey had left one behind was because she thought she would be strong enough to resist it. She wanted to test herself, to not succumb to any urges she would have later on this week.

As much as Casey hated it, Don had managed to talk her out of just taking three days off and doing an entire week. It was necessary Olivia stay with her the entire time to make sure she didn't go out and find alcohol somewhere else, so Olivia had had to clear it with her captain before taking three days off work. When Don had found out why, he had almost laughed and told her that three days wasn't going to cut it. After the first week, he'd told her, the cravings would become bearable and the withdrawal side-affects would get better, but not disappear completely for several more weeks.

Olivia had also looked it up online to see if there was anything _she_ could do to make it easier for Casey- instead, she'd found out that Casey was also supposed to get check-ups daily for the first two or so weeks. Casey had stubbornly refused to go see a doctor, just like she had refused even the possibility of going to rehab or telling her boss the real reason why she had to take a week off work. Finally, Olivia had forced her to compromise- instead of going out to see a doctor every day during her recovery, Melinda or Huang would stop by once a day after work to check on her. Casey hadn't liked that either- she was trying to keep this as quiet as possible and, now, four people she worked with every day knew. But Olivia had refused to budge, so Casey had had no choice but to accept it.

And now, here they were. "Well," Casey said, more than slightly anxious, "I'm _officially_ fifteen minutes sober and I don't feel anything. Yet."

"Yeah… Casey, listen. I'm sorry I didn't intervene earlier. I thought I was just overreacting and that you weren't an-"

"It's fine, Liv. Besides, I'm the one that made wrong choices here. I started drinking even though I should of known better. I either lied to you about how much I was drinking or went to a bar when I told you I would be working late that night. " She closed her eyes and sighed. "I just want it to be a month from now so I don't have these next few days to go through."

"Case, you're going to get through this. And in a couple months, who knows, maybe you'll be able to get a drink or two and stop without craving for more."

"Well, that's great and all, Liv, but right now I'm more concerned about the next few days." Casey shuddered when she thought of how her best friend would soon be witnessing her throwing up, shaking, sweating… so weak and pathetic, all because she hadn't been able to work up the nerve to stop drinking before someone intervened.

Olivia nodded apologetically, sitting on the back of the couch before groaning. "Damn it, Case. I forgot- you haven't done physical therapy yet, have you?"

Casey glared at her. "You know, Liv, I hadn't forgotten about it. I had simply chosen not to do it. I thought that if I was going to be feeling like crap this week, I didn't have to also make my leg hurt."

"Casey…"

The ADA glared at her again before grunting, "Fine. Just let me change first." Casey headed back to the bedroom and started searching for some sweats to wear, sighing as she did so.

After she'd gotten the cast off her leg, her doctor had given her some exercises to do at home to regain all movement in her leg. Apparently, the scars her rapist had left had also constituted some physical therapy, which Casey had never taken part in. Along with a decrease in what had been minor pain to begin with, Casey also had begun cultivating a strong hatred for physical therapy. The exercises hurt, it seemed like they accomplished nothing, they were time consuming, and they always reminded her of the horrible events surrounding Danny Garcia.

**-Five hours in-**

Olivia opened her eyes blearily, still half-asleep, when felt rather then saw Casey crawl back into bed. "Case?" she muttered, closing her eyes again. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, Liv. I just woke up and was really cold. I changed into something warmer; problem solved."

Sighing and fighting the very strong urge to just close her eyes and go back to sleep, Olivia reached over and pulled on Casey's hand, trying to get the ADA to face her. "Casey. Casey, you're sweating, you shouldn't be cold. I think you're starting to go into withdrawal."

"Yes, and I'm sure that I'm going to sweat so much I'm going to dehydrate and die. I'm fine, Liv," Casey repeated sourly. "I told you, I'll be fine on the couch. Besides, I'm sure that by tomorrow, I'll be keeping you up anyway while I'm sick all night, no need to start now."

"I seem to remember irritability also being one of the symptoms of withdrawal."

"How sweet are you," Casey snapped before rolling over onto her side, away from Olivia. "Now leave me alone. I want to actually get some sleep tonight and you're ruining any chances of that happening."

Olivia just sighed. This was going to be a long week.

**-Ten hours in-**

"I'm not hungry."

"Casey, you need to-"

"I'm not hungry."

Olivia groaned and rolled her eyes, pouring herself some cereal before putting the box away. "Suit yourself."

The two had been awake for about half an hour, Olivia trying to convince Casey to eat at least a little breakfast the majority of the time. Casey, who was wrapped in a blanket and still shivering slightly, just watched as Olivia ate breakfast herself. The nausea prevented her from eating and let her know that the vomiting was not far away, making her wish that she had accepted those light sedatives that Huang had offered to prescribe her while she was in withdrawal. Then she could sleep and not feel like this and worse for the next week.

She had stopped sweating sometime during the night but was still freezing. Not that it was anything but uncomfortable yet- besides, Casey had experienced these side affects before. After all, she did have to work for at least eight hours a day, often times more, and she couldn't afford to keep a bottle of vodka in her desk- she did have to be lucid enough to go to talk to a judge without sounding like a babbling idiot. It would take a few more hours before she started getting into unfamiliar territory.

Casey crossed her arms, trying to hide her shaking hands from Olivia. The list of side affects for alcohol withdrawal was endless and only got worse the farther in she got.

"Case, I still think you should at least try to eat something. I don't think you'll have the stomach for anything in a couple hours and-"

"I already told you, Liv, I'm really not hungry. Still cold, though. What's the temperature in here?"

Olivia sighed, pushing herself off the counter to go check the thermostat, then sighed again. "70 degrees- and no I will not turn the heat up. I'm reasonably sure it's a side affect and no matter how high I turn the heat up, you'll still be cold. Sorry."

Casey shrugged, pulling the blanket tighter around herself. "Well, if I'm gonna be cold, at least I'm not gonna be cold and hungry." She restlessly started tapping her fingers on the table, glancing at the clock every minute or so. Right now, she wasn't sure whether she wanted time to pass slower right now or faster- dread the later, more painful side affects or just get them over with?

"What a fuckin' paradox," she muttered under her breath, abruptly getting to her feet and unto the living room. Olivia followed her.

"Case, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing, I'm pacing back and forth," she snapped, then started rubbing her arms, trying to warm herself up. "And do you have to stand there like that? Go eat your breakfast or something."

"Yep, irritability is definitely one of the symptoms," Olivia muttered under her breath.

"If I'm so annoying then go eat your breakfast and I'll stay in here and won't annoy you."

Olivia sighed. "Casey, you know I can't leave you alone, just in case you-"

"Just in case I what, exactly? I run out of here to go binge drinking? Or maybe I hid barrels of alcohol underneath the floorboards and I'm just going to-"

"No need to get angry about it, Case, but yeah, that's pretty much why."

Casey huffed and flopped onto the couch, flinging an arm above her head. "Oh, how sweet."

Olivia was really starting to regret agreeing to stay with Casey all of this next week. She had forgotten just how cruel her friend could be when she was sick, tired, and upset.

**-Twenty hours in-**

"Sorry," Olivia apologized to Melinda, handing her a tissue for the small cut caused by Casey's fingernails. "She's been like this all day and she's only getting worse."

Melinda smiled grimly and shook her head. "It's okay. This is helping me to remember why I don't work with live patients anymore- dead ones don't fight back."

Olivia laughed as Casey finally emerged from the bathroom, running her sleeve across her mouth and standing on shaky legs. "Sorry, Melinda," she said in a hoarse voice. "Wasn't expecting that."

"It's fine, Casey, but when you get back to work you're really going to owe me."

A short ten minutes later, Melinda had proclaimed Casey healthy enough to remain at home, although she'd also promised to send George tomorrow instead of coming herself.

"Sorry I scared you off," Casey apologized as she curled back up on the couch and pulled the blanket back around her shoulders.

"Oh, it's not that. I'm just not coming back for a few days, when you'll be too tired to be angry. Well, I hope you feel better, Casey, but I know you won't. I have to go home; my husband and I had something planned tonight. I'll check on you in a couple days."

Casey nodded, nibbling on a saltine cracker and starring at the glass of water in front of her. In ten hours, she'd gone from cold and irritable to a mess. Her head was killing her, she couldn't stop throwing up, and now her throat was sore. It felt more like she had the flu than anything else.

**-Two days, 12 hours in-**

Olivia winced in sympathy as Casey rolled onto her stomach, flinging an arm over the side of the bed, shaking violently. She was paler than usual, still sweating, and was shaking so much she could barely manage to hold onto the glass of water on the nightstand. When she raised her bloodshot eyes and saw that it was empty, she moaned and allowed it to roll onto the carpet. She turned her head to look at Olivia pleadingly, too tired to get it and go refill it herself. "Please?" she asked hoarsely, and Olivia sighed before getting to her feet and walking around to Casey's side of the bed to pick up the glass.

"Fine. Don't move; I'll be back in a second."

Casey smiled weakly, saying, "Thanks." She watched as Olivia left the room and, the moment she was out of sight, rolled off the bed, landing on her stomach with a thump, and scrambled on her hands and knees to the closet.

Fuck staying sober. There wasn't a point to it and all it would take was one little drink to make her feel one little drink, and then she would quit. It wouldn't set back her recovery and it was all she needed to stay sane.

Casey yanked the bottle of vodka out of the closet and raised it to her lips, and had almost swallowed her first mouthful when there was a shout from the doorway and the bottle was knocked from her hands. "Spit it out!" Olivia shouted, wrapping her arms around Casey's stomach and squeezing until she coughed and spit the alcohol out. "Casey, what the hell are you doing?" Olivia exclaimed, grabbing the open bottle of vodka and getting to her feet, yanking it away when Casey reached for it. "Where did you get this?"

When Casey stubbornly remained silent and didn't answer, trembling harder- so close to one taste of her medicine, and Olivia had had to tear it all away. "Where did you get this?" Olivia demanded louder, forcing the ADA to look at her. "Did you lie about not having any more stashes?"

"Please, just one drink- I'll quit after that, I promise, but I need one more-"

"No, you don't! You never needed it in the first place, you just wanted it!" Olivia shouted, pulling Casey to her feet and forcing her into the bathroom, where she poured the rest of the vodka down the sink. "Do you have any more stashes, Casey, or was it just the one? Answer me!"

More than slightly shocked at how furious her friend was, Casey shook her head mutely and Olivia groaned loudly before pulling her back to the bedroom and sat her down on the bed, standing next to her. "Well, it's not like I can trust you now, for all I know you've got a dozen bottles hidden somewhere around here and you're just waiting for me to leave." Shaking her head, Olivia looked around the room suspiciously before grabbing her hand and pulling her upright. "Come on. With me. I'm calling Melinda and seeing if I need to do anything now that you just reset the clock on how long you've been sober."

"Wait, Liv, _you _stopped me from drinking before I got any," Casey snapped, unable to hide the anger and the accusation in her voice. "I didn't-"

"I'm not taking your word for it," Olivia hissed before grabbing her phone and calling Melinda, keeping her eyes on Casey. "Hey, Melinda? It's Olivia. Listen, I left the room for only a few seconds, but when I came back Casey was drinking. I made her spit what was in her mouth out and she says she didn't swallow any, but I'm not sure if she's telling the truth or not. The bottle was almost full, so she didn't get much either way. I don't know if… all right. Good. I'll tell her. Thanks."

Olivia hung up, then turned to Casey, who was clutching her stomach and really wishing Olivia would just go away so she could lie down again. "Well, George was already on his way over here. Melinda's calling him right now and telling him what happened so he'll be prepared when he gets here."

Sighing, Casey just shook her head, grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator and headed back to Olivia's bedroom, collapsing onto her stomach and pulling the blanket over her head. "Go away," she grumbled when she felt Olivia sit down next to her.

"Thanks to the stunt you just pulled, I'm not going to be able to leave you alone for even a second this entire week."

Casey sighed, burying her head into the pillow and hoping she could manage to go to sleep before George got there. Maybe then, they wouldn't wake her up and she could just sleep some more.

**-Four days, five hours in-**

Casey opened her eyes to see Olivia sitting across from her, watching TV at a low volume. Grunting, she pushed herself up onto her elbows and smiled weakly. "Hey. What time is it?"

Olivia checked her watch, then said, "Eight in the morning. You feeling any better?"

Nodding slightly, Casey moved into a sitting position and leaned her head against one of the pillows. "My headache's not as bad. Neither's the nausea. I may be able to eat something."

"The cravings?"

"Better."

Olivia nodded, returning her attention to the TV. "Good." After a moment passed in silence, she sighed, then looked back at the ADA and said, "Case, a couple days ago, when I found you with the vodka… I'm sorry I reacted the way I did. When I saw you, it just… brought up some bad memories."

"With your mother?" Casey asked cautiously, and Olivia nodded again.

"Yeah."

Closing her eyes briefly, Casey sighed and apologized. "Liv, I'm sorry… I was worried about asking you to stay with me for that very reason. I could of asked Elliot, or-"

"No, it's okay. So I was in a bad mood for a few hours, who cares? We're both fine now. And anyways, I'm just glad I could help you, even if I couldn't help her."

"Is that why you're doing this? Because you want to know what it would have been liked if you had helped her, or if-"

"No, no. I'm helping you because you're my friend and I want you to get better, but… well, I don't know." She checked her watch again, then said, "Hey, since I'm out of everything but coffee, I'm going to go across the street and pick up a few things. I'll be back in ten minutes, so don't go anywhere."

"Oh, you trust me enough to leave me alone?" Casey teased, sensing Olivia was trying to change the subject.

The detective nodded with a chuckle as she put on her coat. "Yes. I'm hoping you can resist the cravings now- if not, try and call me so I can get back here and handcuff you to that couch."

"You wouldn't."

"I wouldn't be so sure of yourself I were you, Novak." They both laughed, and Olivia headed towards the door, tucking her cell phone in her pocket. "Try and go back to sleep; I'll be back in a few minutes."

Casey smiled, closing her eyes and leaning back against the couch. Now that the worst of the side affects were over, she was finally able to not regret choosing to just quit cold turkey and was looking forward to not spending most of her days off hungover or having a little too much to drink whenever she went to a bar.

But the fatigue hadn't abated. She was still exhausted and Casey didn't really mind. It just meant she could spend most of her time asleep, not feeling terrible and sleeping through many of the more uncomfortable side affects.

And now, she could go back to sleep again.

* * *

><p>"Welcome back, Casey. I hope you enjoyed your week off, because your temp didn't. SVU caught a difficult case and she- wow. You look like hell, Casey."<p>

"Thank you," Casey said to sourly to her boss as she unlocked her office. "No, I didn't enjoy my time off, but it was productive all the same."

Yes, it was productive. Casey smiled slightly, realizing in ecstasy that she was officially one week sober and was feeling much better than before.

Casey still could not really believe it; it was too good to be true. Yes, she did still crave alcohol, but it wasn't unbearable. The withdrawal symptoms were getting less and less uncomfortable and painful, and because her alcoholism hadn't been severe, she was going to try drinking in a few months- carefully, of course- to see if she could handle it.

She was getting her life back.


End file.
